Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Only If I Could...
If i could only see you now
i would seal my arms around you
i would hug you so tight and with all my might
just like the last time i did.
if i could only hear your voice
i would tell you how much it means to me
and your laughter which is music to my ears
i'd want it to be played over and over again
if i could hold your hand again
i would never let it go
i would lock it with mine
it would always make me feel safe
a reminder that i have you around
if i could tell you those words again
i'd tell you a thousand times
this time, i'd want you to personally hear it
that i love you... i really do.
still...
...it's only if i could
this is the very first poem i wrote for this blog. I just thought maybe i should try.
Geeeesh. Well, i just hope you didn't curse me after reading this one.I am not good with poems. =P
It just came from here <3
the day my heart fell: Star City
This is a birthday special for Loren Mar Artajos. Thank you so much for the treat that day, Lao. And personally i would like to thank her for being such a good friend to me. At times she's the only one who can afford to listen to my whinings as i listen to hers. I apologize if she's already tired hearing me complain almost about everything. =P And thank you for her being more paranoid than i am whenever i go to work in the middle of the night, that she would always remind me to send her a message as soon as i reach my work place (just like what my mom tells me).
I am wishinguher all the hapqiness of life. qet us move forwurd together. Buu hey, let us nou lose hope. I du understand notuprobably all the feelings she has inside but only a part of them just like the way she understands mine. *doublesuperpowerhug*
And belated HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her.
October 22, 2011. Her 21st birthday will just be one of the few moments in my life that i will never ever forget. I didn't even want it to end but we don't have control over time for it to be stopped on those moments that we're having fun.
i enjoyed so much even though i had no sleep at all and i was awake for more than 24 hours. I don't regret it. Those are just precious moments which i couldn't just definitely find somewhere else. The reason why i love hanging out with them even though we just eat out or just spend time together to chat. I had work at 2:30Am til 11:30AM that day but i just wanted to enjoy the day with few of those trusted friends i have in my life right now. Thank you Janno, Loren, Colleen, Joven and PX.
We ate lunch at Mcdonald's. Our favourite most common food chain so far near our area. We ate Spaghetti and fried chicken. Even though the place is already noisy as always, we added up to the atmosphere. And i love those times where we just spend the time laughing together over jokes and stories and stupid things we do. Just then i realized that someone is missing (as i stare at Janno, Loren, Colleen, Px and Me.. Bryan is the one missing. We were the six MMSU students who took our chance in Manila during the summer to review for the Nursing Board Exam). Joven represented, him and we were like joking over things. But hey, it could have been happier if he was there.
And i want to share how i felt that day as few of my closest friends surrounded me. The feeling you have when they are around that even when you feel so stressed and so hopeless, you would find the reason to smile coz that's how TRUE friends stay. And i love them for that. They are able to paint one of the sweetest smiles you could have even just by doing nothing. I am looking forwaru to unending yeurs of friendshiu.
Someday when we look back, we'll miss those days. And i am definitely missing them now. What's best to cqpture moments tuat i want to stuy fresh and vivqd forever is by taking picture. Colleen haven't uploaded the pictures yet. I am just gonna make a new post once they are up coz i love staring at photos and capturing them too. We haven' seen Colleen in months. We catch up on the stories that we have missed about each other's lives and just made the most out of the short span of time that we have. Every single minute was worth it. No dull moments.
So after eating our lunch and satisfying our empty stomachs, just when the time struck 4PM we started ourselves and got ready to go on the destination that we had planned.
Star City.
Though Janno wasn't able to join us there, we had to cut our Mcdonald's bonding short because Joven also has to go somewhere at 8:30PM. Janno helped us catch a cab. (hahaha. i guess 3 cab declined us coz the place is out of their way or they had to drop Janno at his apartment). We parted ways and he just walked his way home. I fell asleep inside the cab as we were on our way to Star City (might have missed alot as they continued the conversation but i couldn't helpqbut to shut my uyes, so sorry fur that =D).u/strike>
We entered Snow World first and although there's no real snow there, that it's just man-made snow, I still tried to grab some of it and threw them at my pals which was really funny. We were imagining that we're throwing real snow at each other. And i happened to have overdone it, i have placed some snow inside Joven's back and Ta-da, it was very funny.. Wahahah.. I'd love to hang around with them someday in those snow covered streets of the United States. lovely.
My impulsivity knocked and i purchased a bonnet and a character hat. And i loved them. Almost everything was paid by Loren though except for the food. (arrrgh and now i am craving for Siomai.. eeeeh)
My impulsivity knocked and i purchased a bonnet and a character hat. And i loved them. Almost everything was paid by Loren though except for the food. (arrrgh and now i am craving for Siomai.. eeeeh)
Guess we're having too much fun based on the photograph eh.? ^_^
We'll there's one thing that i kinda promised not to do. That is i am not gonna ride the roller coaster coz it would just definitely make my heart really really fall this time. And OMG i just don't want that feeling again. Coz we rode the Jungle something and a little roller coaster and a jumping star and It scared the hell out of me. I could hardly breathe. That i just wanted those rides to be over. I was just screaming and screaming all my hearts out at the tops of my lungs. Well i guess i have expressed everything? Hmmm. Really? Oh i guess not then.
But ha-ha. The experience was so much fun. Maybe i would be able to ride that roller coaster one day. When i am brave enough to face it coz this time my heart still can't do it. I am not yet ready. I am still afraid my heart would fall again. Like big time. Ahaha, this is getting dramatic, right.
And i should end it now. I am gonna share some videos we took. Just to capture the emotions we had during those rides. Pardon me for being so noisy and so loud. I couldn't help it.
this one was taken at the bumper boat area. It was only me, Loren and Px who were left until 12 PM coz colleen and joven had to go home. They kept on bumping my boat. LOL. i was trying to bug them away but their saying "it's bumper boat". oh yeah ha-ha.
My uploader is having problems.. i'll check it next time. I have to sleep.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
moments
I dreamt of seeing him one day like this. Playing with someone he could call his own. And first time i laid my eyes on these pictures i smiled. i ended up staring at one of the pictures.. they have the same eyes. And they're having a great time together. I'll just imagine i was the one who took the pictures. Just watching them play around. Isn't it just priceless... =/ and it's just a dream..
He's playing with Gav. His nephew.
I told Ate maya they made me smile especially this one.
=))
and here's a picture Ate maya posted in my Facebook profile..
Gav leaning on the Patrick Stuff toy i gave him.
much love...
and here's a picture Ate maya posted in my Facebook profile..
much love...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
If Circumstances were a Bit Different
I wish i could write i again another story coz i missed doing so. I was not even finished writing the alternate world i created for my favourite Harry Potter character, Nymphadora Tonks. Ugh. I just don't know where to go with the plot i had started. And i lack focus plus motivation.
And this story that i am gonna share to you is the very first fan fiction that i wrote for Snitchseeker. It's in their archives now. It's petty. LOL. I was a beginner - until now. But i meant all the feelings embedded within the story. Hmmm. And i just wanted to post it here. It was written June of 2008. I want to warp back to those times.
I got some Beta with this one. Some great minds helped me deal with all the corrections. Hmmm. Well, i kinda made their minds ache for a moment.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot. The song in the story is "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas from the movie Meet the Robinsons.
It's just a one shot story about Teddy Remus Lupin. If you don't know him, he is the son of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks.
Here goes the story...
--------------------------------------------------------------
He was almost through from opening the last parcel from Ron, whom he considers as his Uncle, which is quite larger and heavier than the rest of the packages, when he heard noises.
What is that noise all about, he thought.
However, Teddy was not at all surprised when he saw the faces of the people who made the noise. But it was their presence that shocked him and made him gaze at them with disbelief.
Wake up Teddy, wake up, he told himself. He pinched himself but nothing happened.
Silence filled the room, but Teddy’s expression was filled with curiosity. The people looked like the ones in the portrait on the top of his desk.
How can they be here when they’re… perhaps they were simply a trick. It is my birthday after all, he wondered.
The eleven-year-old Teddy stood there staring at the two, who appeared into his own bedroom, making noise as a racket. Teddy's heart was pounding. He wanted to shout, for his heart could not contain the happiness that had started to engulfed him. He leapt to his feet and walked slowly to them. But for that moment, it was as though time had suddenly stopped and that he can do whatever he wanted to.
Just close your eyes, Teddy.
He closed his eyes hoping he had been imagining things. But when he opened his eyes, the figures were there, they did not fade. Although he thought they were just a trick and one blink would tell him that they were not true.
Teddy was grinning. But still he could not believe it.
Then he broke the deafening silence around them.
“Dad!” he cried as he gave his father a tight hug, his father bent down so that he could reach his neck.
“Happy birthday, son!” Remus replied, as he hugged Teddy back.
Teddy had the feeling, that moment was precious and should be treasured.
He then gazed at the woman standing behind Remus. Her hair was different from his, its colour the most vivid of pink, but he could tell that she could change her hair colour whenever, wherever, and to whatever she wanted to, just as he could.
The woman stared back at him and gave Teddy the feeling that he had known her his entire life. For a minute or so, he felt that he could drown in her eyes, because they were filled with love, warmth, and affection.
Then the woman said, “Wotcher, Teddy.”
Teddy eagerly relinquished from his father’s arms and said, “Mum!” as he flung his arms around his mother with all his might.
“Happy eleventh birthday, Teddy,” Nymphadora said in a comforting voice as she was being embraced by her son. Teddy didn’t want to let go of her, he was afraid they would disappear and he would lose them again.
Hu knew he could not hold on forever though, so he let go of his mother but he still stared at her with happiness in his face. Bright eyes gazed at Nymphadora.
Nymphadora smiled at his son, “Why don’t you go finish opening your gift, Teddy?” as she gestured at Ron's gift.
Teddy, who was still excited and couldn't help but grin, [I]Mum says i should continue on opening my gifts, [/I]nodded and went back in unwrapping the last package that was left. Remus and Nymphadora went to sit at Teddy’s bed.
Ron’s gift was a Weasley sweater. A note fell as Teddy tried to unfold the handmade jumper.
Teddy,
I’m sorry but I don’t have enough time to buy you a gift, so I just asked Mum to make you a Weasley jumper. And here’s a pack of Chocolate Frog and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. That’s from the rest of us Weasley’s, who hadn’t bought you a birthday gift. In the meantime, enjoy using this lumpy jumper your Gran Molly made. See you soon.
Teddy smirked at Ron’s use of the word lumpy. Then he looked at his parents. He can't stop staring at them. This is the best birthday I've ever had. My family's complete.
Nymphadora smiled and said, “Oh! Your dad wanted to buy a book as your birthday present, but I persuaded him to buy you a toy broomstick instead,” she said while throwing a playful look at Remus.
“Well, I’m afraid I didn’t buy him a toy broomstick,” Remus said while laughing. He then handed Teddy a neatly wrapped package. Nymphadora took a quick glanced at Remus' gift.
Teddy had just unwrapped his father’s gift, and it was a book, entitled Quidditch Through the Ages. He recognised the book as one that Harry had once told him about it. Teddy snorted as he glanced at it and then to his father who simply gave him a compassionate look. He then glanced back at his mother.
Nymphadora was chuckling at the very moment, but she stopped and gave her son a sympathetic smile.
“Just what I thought,” she said while eyeing Remus before her bright eyes went back to Teddy, “your father would do.” She gave her son a pat on the back and added quickly, “Don’t worry, Teddy, I’ve got another gift for you.” She handed Teddy a parcel that was untidily wrapped.
Not another book, Teddy thought.
“Now, now,” Remus said as he rested his arms on Nymphadora’s shoulder and continued, “just what I thought your mother would do.”
Tonks rested her head in his chest and said, “I hope you'll like it, Teddy,” while giving him an approving smile.
Remus kissed her forehead and stared at Teddy, “He’ll like that for sure, Nymphadora,” he said while stroking anq smoothening heu hair with his uand.
Teddy unwrapped his mother’s gift and grinned at the sight of the toy broomstick, he keenly clutched in his hands.
“I think he likes mine better than yours,” she annoyed Remus, while beaming at the sight of their son smiling at her. The book Remus had given Teddy lay forgotten on the floor, beside him.
“I won’t dare answer that,” Remus joked.
“Thanks Mum! Thanks Dad!” Teddy said, hugging his parents. “Gran won’t be happy about this, but I think I better tell her.” With that he dashed out of the room, his face filled with excitement.
The couple followed their son out of the room and down the stairs. They were in the middle of the hallway when Nymphadora tripped, but Remus got hold of her waist and helped her maintain her balance. They followed Teddy, who entered the living room, but they stayed outside.
Teddy found Andromeda Tonks sitting on a couch, knitting a pair of hand gloves. He eagerly informed his grandmother about the gifts he had just received from his parents and showed her the toy broomstick.
Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels
No! He thought. I don't like this feeling.
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain
This can't be.
Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end
And this story that i am gonna share to you is the very first fan fiction that i wrote for Snitchseeker. It's in their archives now. It's petty. LOL. I was a beginner - until now. But i meant all the feelings embedded within the story. Hmmm. And i just wanted to post it here. It was written June of 2008. I want to warp back to those times.
I got some Beta with this one. Some great minds helped me deal with all the corrections. Hmmm. Well, i kinda made their minds ache for a moment.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot. The song in the story is "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas from the movie Meet the Robinsons.
It's just a one shot story about Teddy Remus Lupin. If you don't know him, he is the son of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks.
Here goes the story...
--------------------------------------------------------------
A boy was lying on his bed staring at the blank ceiling of his room. Tomorrow would be his birthday, and he had spent the whole day reminiscing his past birthdays. For the past years, he had celebrated his birthday with his grandmother and other family friends. They would go to Diagon Alley, browse shops or celebrate it with a small party in their house.
Tomorrow... how will we celebrate my birthday, the boy thought.
"C'mon, little boy! You better go to sleep now, tomorrow's a big day for you," his grandmother sweetly said.
She gave her grandson a goodnight kiss and hug as she left him in his room.
Just after his grandmother left, he grabbed something on his bedside table, he stared for a moment at the stuff, then, the boy rolled over his bedspread...
...and fell asleep.
Tomorrow... how will we celebrate my birthday, the boy thought.
"C'mon, little boy! You better go to sleep now, tomorrow's a big day for you," his grandmother sweetly said.
She gave her grandson a goodnight kiss and hug as she left him in his room.
Just after his grandmother left, he grabbed something on his bedside table, he stared for a moment at the stuff, then, the boy rolled over his bedspread...
...and fell asleep.
Teddy Remus Lupin woke up to see a mound of packages at the foot of his bed. Of course, how could he forget that today was his eleventh birthday? It was the typical cold morning as he forgot again to close his only bedroom window for the thirtieth time. His grandmother, Andromeda Tonks, had been complaining about it to him for days, but Teddy just wouldn’t listen to her.
He stared at his own room and noticed that it was much more organised than he had remembered it being when he had gone to bed. He thought that maybe his grandmother had dropped in and cleaned as he was busy dreaming about flying his own toy broomstick. He had never had a toy broomstick because his grandmother would not agree upon giving him one. His gaze continued to scan the room.
Suddenly, his eyes became glued to a picture on top of his bedside table. It was his parent’s picture; they waved and beamed at him after giving each other a nice and warm hug. He smiled at the thought of them. He felt the need to change the atmosphere and turned his blue hair into vivid turquoise colour to suit his birthday mood.
He got up stretched his arms for the start of his daily routines and exercise. He glanced over to the window and felt the cold morning breeze brush his face. He drew a deep breath, and turned to face the gifts, which was neatly stacked up on the floor. He grabbed the parcel on the topmost part of the pile of packages and started opening it, but before completely tearing the wrap, he took a quick look over a few words scribbled on the side of the pack.
Hope you’ll like it. I thought it would match your hair.
Harry’s gift was a colour-changing quill. Teddy smiled, Harry always had a gift for him. He pulled a piece of paper from his table and tried his Godfather's gift. The first stroke was blue in colour, then it kept on changing as Teddy continued to write.
He found Harry's gift interesting but he caught a glimpsed of the other packages, he turned to face them again, he left the quill and paper beside him. He continued on opening his gifts, eager to see the content of the other packages.
He stared at his own room and noticed that it was much more organised than he had remembered it being when he had gone to bed. He thought that maybe his grandmother had dropped in and cleaned as he was busy dreaming about flying his own toy broomstick. He had never had a toy broomstick because his grandmother would not agree upon giving him one. His gaze continued to scan the room.
Suddenly, his eyes became glued to a picture on top of his bedside table. It was his parent’s picture; they waved and beamed at him after giving each other a nice and warm hug. He smiled at the thought of them. He felt the need to change the atmosphere and turned his blue hair into vivid turquoise colour to suit his birthday mood.
He got up stretched his arms for the start of his daily routines and exercise. He glanced over to the window and felt the cold morning breeze brush his face. He drew a deep breath, and turned to face the gifts, which was neatly stacked up on the floor. He grabbed the parcel on the topmost part of the pile of packages and started opening it, but before completely tearing the wrap, he took a quick look over a few words scribbled on the side of the pack.
To Teddy Lupin,
Your loving Godfather,
Harry
Harry
Harry’s gift was a colour-changing quill. Teddy smiled, Harry always had a gift for him. He pulled a piece of paper from his table and tried his Godfather's gift. The first stroke was blue in colour, then it kept on changing as Teddy continued to write.
HaPpy BiRthDay To ME!!!
He found Harry's gift interesting but he caught a glimpsed of the other packages, he turned to face them again, he left the quill and paper beside him. He continued on opening his gifts, eager to see the content of the other packages.
He was almost through from opening the last parcel from Ron, whom he considers as his Uncle, which is quite larger and heavier than the rest of the packages, when he heard noises.
What is that noise all about, he thought.
However, Teddy was not at all surprised when he saw the faces of the people who made the noise. But it was their presence that shocked him and made him gaze at them with disbelief.
Wake up Teddy, wake up, he told himself. He pinched himself but nothing happened.
Silence filled the room, but Teddy’s expression was filled with curiosity. The people looked like the ones in the portrait on the top of his desk.
How can they be here when they’re… perhaps they were simply a trick. It is my birthday after all, he wondered.
The eleven-year-old Teddy stood there staring at the two, who appeared into his own bedroom, making noise as a racket. Teddy's heart was pounding. He wanted to shout, for his heart could not contain the happiness that had started to engulfed him. He leapt to his feet and walked slowly to them. But for that moment, it was as though time had suddenly stopped and that he can do whatever he wanted to.
Just close your eyes, Teddy.
He closed his eyes hoping he had been imagining things. But when he opened his eyes, the figures were there, they did not fade. Although he thought they were just a trick and one blink would tell him that they were not true.
Teddy was grinning. But still he could not believe it.
Then he broke the deafening silence around them.
“Dad!” he cried as he gave his father a tight hug, his father bent down so that he could reach his neck.
“Happy birthday, son!” Remus replied, as he hugged Teddy back.
Teddy had the feeling, that moment was precious and should be treasured.
He then gazed at the woman standing behind Remus. Her hair was different from his, its colour the most vivid of pink, but he could tell that she could change her hair colour whenever, wherever, and to whatever she wanted to, just as he could.
The woman stared back at him and gave Teddy the feeling that he had known her his entire life. For a minute or so, he felt that he could drown in her eyes, because they were filled with love, warmth, and affection.
Then the woman said, “Wotcher, Teddy.”
Teddy eagerly relinquished from his father’s arms and said, “Mum!” as he flung his arms around his mother with all his might.
“Happy eleventh birthday, Teddy,” Nymphadora said in a comforting voice as she was being embraced by her son. Teddy didn’t want to let go of her, he was afraid they would disappear and he would lose them again.
Hu knew he could not hold on forever though, so he let go of his mother but he still stared at her with happiness in his face. Bright eyes gazed at Nymphadora.
Nymphadora smiled at his son, “Why don’t you go finish opening your gift, Teddy?” as she gestured at Ron's gift.
Teddy, who was still excited and couldn't help but grin, [I]Mum says i should continue on opening my gifts, [/I]nodded and went back in unwrapping the last package that was left. Remus and Nymphadora went to sit at Teddy’s bed.
Ron’s gift was a Weasley sweater. A note fell as Teddy tried to unfold the handmade jumper.
Teddy,
Uncle Ron
Teddy smirked at Ron’s use of the word lumpy. Then he looked at his parents. He can't stop staring at them. This is the best birthday I've ever had. My family's complete.
Nymphadora smiled and said, “Oh! Your dad wanted to buy a book as your birthday present, but I persuaded him to buy you a toy broomstick instead,” she said while throwing a playful look at Remus.
“Well, I’m afraid I didn’t buy him a toy broomstick,” Remus said while laughing. He then handed Teddy a neatly wrapped package. Nymphadora took a quick glanced at Remus' gift.
Teddy had just unwrapped his father’s gift, and it was a book, entitled Quidditch Through the Ages. He recognised the book as one that Harry had once told him about it. Teddy snorted as he glanced at it and then to his father who simply gave him a compassionate look. He then glanced back at his mother.
Nymphadora was chuckling at the very moment, but she stopped and gave her son a sympathetic smile.
“Just what I thought,” she said while eyeing Remus before her bright eyes went back to Teddy, “your father would do.” She gave her son a pat on the back and added quickly, “Don’t worry, Teddy, I’ve got another gift for you.” She handed Teddy a parcel that was untidily wrapped.
Not another book, Teddy thought.
“Now, now,” Remus said as he rested his arms on Nymphadora’s shoulder and continued, “just what I thought your mother would do.”
Tonks rested her head in his chest and said, “I hope you'll like it, Teddy,” while giving him an approving smile.
Remus kissed her forehead and stared at Teddy, “He’ll like that for sure, Nymphadora,” he said while stroking anq smoothening heu hair with his uand.
Teddy unwrapped his mother’s gift and grinned at the sight of the toy broomstick, he keenly clutched in his hands.
“I think he likes mine better than yours,” she annoyed Remus, while beaming at the sight of their son smiling at her. The book Remus had given Teddy lay forgotten on the floor, beside him.
“I won’t dare answer that,” Remus joked.
“Thanks Mum! Thanks Dad!” Teddy said, hugging his parents. “Gran won’t be happy about this, but I think I better tell her.” With that he dashed out of the room, his face filled with excitement.
The couple followed their son out of the room and down the stairs. They were in the middle of the hallway when Nymphadora tripped, but Remus got hold of her waist and helped her maintain her balance. They followed Teddy, who entered the living room, but they stayed outside.
Teddy found Andromeda Tonks sitting on a couch, knitting a pair of hand gloves. He eagerly informed his grandmother about the gifts he had just received from his parents and showed her the toy broomstick.
Andromedauwas saddened wiuh Teddy’s story, but she just stared incredulously at him. Her eyes were suddenly filled with tears and she tenderly embraced her grandson as to hide the sadness in her face, tears were now gushing down her cheeks.
“Why are you crying, Gran?” he calmingly asked, wiping the tears from his grandmother’s face with his hands.
His grandmother sniffed. “I’m sorry; I knew you wouldn’t be happy with Mum’s gift,” Teddy mumbled. “Maybe she’ll cheer you up. She’s waiting at the hallway with Dad.”
He started making his way back to the hallway, but Andromeda grabbed his hand and Teddy turned to face his grandmother, and their eyes met. She was still crying.
“She’s not there, Teddy,” she bravely whispered, when she got her voice back. “Nymphadora’s not waiting in the hallway or even upstairs, and Remus’ not there, too.”
“I don’t understand, Gran,” Teddy said calmly, “Mum and Dad are in there and they’re waiting for me, for you.”
Andromeda found it hard to continue the conversation. She had tried to move on after that tragic result of the last battle.
“Gran, come on,” Teddy insisted, growing impatient as he tried to pull his grandmother.
“No, Teddy!” Andromeda said, “Nobody’s waiting for you, nor for me.”
Silence started to settle between them as Teddy stared at his grandmother. Andromeda Tonks looked over to the window, trying to find some strength and courage from happy memories. She closed her eyes and more memories flashed in her mind. She can't contain it anymore and she opened her eyes again.
“They’re gone,” she croaked. “And they’re not coming back.” It was hard for her to say the words, but she managed to say them. “They’re dead!”
At that point, when her Grandmother had said that his parents were dead, Teddy somehow heard music. A song was playing on his mind.“Why are you crying, Gran?” he calmingly asked, wiping the tears from his grandmother’s face with his hands.
His grandmother sniffed. “I’m sorry; I knew you wouldn’t be happy with Mum’s gift,” Teddy mumbled. “Maybe she’ll cheer you up. She’s waiting at the hallway with Dad.”
He started making his way back to the hallway, but Andromeda grabbed his hand and Teddy turned to face his grandmother, and their eyes met. She was still crying.
“She’s not there, Teddy,” she bravely whispered, when she got her voice back. “Nymphadora’s not waiting in the hallway or even upstairs, and Remus’ not there, too.”
“I don’t understand, Gran,” Teddy said calmly, “Mum and Dad are in there and they’re waiting for me, for you.”
Andromeda found it hard to continue the conversation. She had tried to move on after that tragic result of the last battle.
“Gran, come on,” Teddy insisted, growing impatient as he tried to pull his grandmother.
“No, Teddy!” Andromeda said, “Nobody’s waiting for you, nor for me.”
Silence started to settle between them as Teddy stared at his grandmother. Andromeda Tonks looked over to the window, trying to find some strength and courage from happy memories. She closed her eyes and more memories flashed in her mind. She can't contain it anymore and she opened her eyes again.
“They’re gone,” she croaked. “And they’re not coming back.” It was hard for her to say the words, but she managed to say them. “They’re dead!”
Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels
No! He thought. I don't like this feeling.
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain
This can't be.
Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain
He didn't notice a tear slid down his cheek. "They're there, They're in there." The song kept on playing. Stop it, he thought.
All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Teddy noticed his reflection in a mirror. He was crying.
“No!” he protested, “Fine, Gran, ff you don’t want to see them, I’ll go.” He walked fast as he wiped the tears on his face.
Although he was rushing to see his parents, he never reached the hallway. He was walking towards them, yet was only moving farther and farther away. The song kept on playing.
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
Then everything turned to blackness… there was a loud crack…
And Teddy Remus Lupin found himself lying in the floor. He stared around him and noticed that he was in his room and that he had fallen from his bed. He slowly stood up and saw the mound of unwrapped packages.
“It was a dream,” he breathed sadly.
It was one of my happiest yet one of my saddest dreams, he thought.
“Happy birthday!” he cheerfully said to himself in a forced tone.
He glanced at the top of his bedside table. For reasons beyond his control, the thing he was supposed to be looking at should have really cheered him up. But the desk was empty.
"Wha..Where's the..." he sighed sadly. He started searching for the stuff under his bed, under his bedside table, inside the drawers at the mound of packages... but unfortunately, he wasn't lucky enough, he didn't found it.
Exhausted, Teddy went back to his bed and curled up again. Just as he was about to close his watery eyes and pulled his blanket over his body, he felt something hard hit him, when he's bed was supposed to be soft. He got up and picked the solid thing that had hit him. It was the thing he had been looking for.
The eleven year old Teddy, happy to see the photo of his Mum; Nymphadora Tonks,and his Dad; Remus Lupin. He was staring at the picture still with glint in his eyes. Then he heard the song again.
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain
He smiled and he said, “I love you, Mum. I love you, Dad.”
FIN
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain
He didn't notice a tear slid down his cheek. "They're there, They're in there." The song kept on playing. Stop it, he thought.
All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Teddy noticed his reflection in a mirror. He was crying.
“No!” he protested, “Fine, Gran, ff you don’t want to see them, I’ll go.” He walked fast as he wiped the tears on his face.
Although he was rushing to see his parents, he never reached the hallway. He was walking towards them, yet was only moving farther and farther away. The song kept on playing.
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
Then everything turned to blackness… there was a loud crack…
And Teddy Remus Lupin found himself lying in the floor. He stared around him and noticed that he was in his room and that he had fallen from his bed. He slowly stood up and saw the mound of unwrapped packages.
“It was a dream,” he breathed sadly.
It was one of my happiest yet one of my saddest dreams, he thought.
“Happy birthday!” he cheerfully said to himself in a forced tone.
He glanced at the top of his bedside table. For reasons beyond his control, the thing he was supposed to be looking at should have really cheered him up. But the desk was empty.
"Wha..Where's the..." he sighed sadly. He started searching for the stuff under his bed, under his bedside table, inside the drawers at the mound of packages... but unfortunately, he wasn't lucky enough, he didn't found it.
Exhausted, Teddy went back to his bed and curled up again. Just as he was about to close his watery eyes and pulled his blanket over his body, he felt something hard hit him, when he's bed was supposed to be soft. He got up and picked the solid thing that had hit him. It was the thing he had been looking for.
The eleven year old Teddy, happy to see the photo of his Mum; Nymphadora Tonks,and his Dad; Remus Lupin. He was staring at the picture still with glint in his eyes. Then he heard the song again.
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain
He smiled and he said, “I love you, Mum. I love you, Dad.”
FIN
Little wonders by Rob Thomas
i hope you had a great time reading it.
Thank you.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I happened to have 2
I actually hated the idea that i am the only girl in the family. Well, that was back then. So so so ages ago. When mom got pregnant almost fourteen years ago, i wished with all my might that it would be a girl we'll have. I definitely wanted a sister so i can spoil her with all the goodness of life and i could have someone to hang out with - spend some girl talks and the likes. But Came August 28 of 1998 and me and Mike were at school wait let me check my calendar and go back to that date, yeah basically it was FRIDAY. I was a Grade 2 student (7 years old) then and Mike (8y/o) was Grade 3, when news came that mom gave birth to a baby boy. Disappointed at first that the idea of having a sister was gone but happy that we have a baby in the family. And way back then we were still staying at mom's relatives (coz our house was still being constructed).
Raffy grew up to be so cute and cuddly. You know the chubby little kids who have chinky eyes. Oh how i envy those eyes. (I am so inlove with kids and people who do have chinky eyes... proven. LOL. and i am guilty, i won't deny that) When he was a baby we didn't cut off his hair and it grew long that we used to tie it in a ponytail and he would look like a girl. Oftentimes when we visit Dad's office back then, they would think that he is a girl. I could still remember that event at Sacred Heart Foundations in Badoc, Ilocos Norte, It was a Christmas Party and families of faculties were invited. Raffy could already walk that time and he kept on walking and running at the midst of the crowds. Then all of a sudden he's gone. And we found him being cuddled by the director or something of the institution. Tahaha.
I could also remember when we used to buy groceries and we'll place him at the cart, the salespeople would always say "Ang cute naman nya. Babae?"
Primary reason probably why i love kids coz there's a big gap with age between me and my youngest brother. He's like second year highschool now. He's kinda far from being the cuddly one but he still got the looks. LOL. IT'S IN THE GENES. hahaha.
and the picture was taken 2 years ago. November 2009.
And about having an older one, Mike was spoiled and was given everything but i know he tries his best at times to act as an older brother to me. And i appreciate those simple moments where we bond. Like he would ask me to watch movies at home or go buy some snacks for us (utusan hahaha). And being his sister, since he loves to play the basketball, all i can do is to support him. It's a great joy for me when he makes a score for their team. There's this sense of pride that "Hey that's my brother."
He jokes around and annoys us. Hmmm. I guess the annoying part is one way of his "LAMBING" but oftentimes we can't get it. That's why we always end up fighting. Hahaha. Gosh. Well, that is just unavoidable for siblings right. And we should just get used to it.
I just have to act a the eldest at times because sometimes he acts immaturely. (AHAha. PArang ako lang rin?) And i'd love how he opens up with regards to his relationships which i definitely have to work on my end. Coz i am not that open to them.
Photo taken last April 2011.
One thing that is just annoying about having a sibling younger than me is the fact that i am no longer the baby in the family. No more pampering coz i have to adjust in having 2 siblings and being the middle child as well as the only girl. But an advantage for that is, i have no rival to any girl attention i want both from mom and Dad. Like when me and mom would go strolling and she'll like one shoes or a bag, she would like let me use it or give them to me. =P But i thank God for giving me two goodlooking brothers. It's not always that we bond but at times i jokingly ask Raffy this question, "What are you gonna do if someone will make me cry?" And i'll end up laughing and he'll tell me "Shut up." FIne then. hahahaha. I miss them both. EVen though they're annoying. It's rare that i have pictures with them at home or anywhere coz we're not that close. And we so should work on that. Someday we'll realize that we only have each other to depend on.
When i left home and i started living in Manila, Mike usually checks on me. On how am i doing and he even said he missed me. That was like the first time? Hmmm coz i can't remember anything aside from that moment. And i was even at the office when he told that to me over the chat. But it meant so much.
And now it's 6AM and i am still awake. I have work again this 5PM. So i have to say bye now and i'll see you again tonight. Goodnight. And happy reading.
xoxo Nat
Monday, October 10, 2011
haunted
I wake up everyday with all the same routines until i head to bed from work.
Every day is the same.
Still everyday i cry myself to sleep and find myself in the morning with heavy eyes. It just hurts. Every night. Every time. And when that time comes i could not prevent myself from crying anymore. I just feel alone. ANd the people who i thought would stay to comfort me have their own lives now and i don't want to bug them anymore. They pretty sure won't like it.
Dear brother,
How i wish you know i am badly hurt. I really need a brother right now. I wish you would comfort me and you'll tell me to cheer up. How i wish i can tell you someone made me cry. And that you'd feel annoyed because they made your little sister cry. You used to tell me when we were in high school that when someone would mess up on me all i have to do is to tell you. Pity me. I don't actually know how you'll react now anyway.
I lied to you. I wish i was that open to you about everything before like how open you have been with your relationships. Hmmmm. Could you teach me how to move on too? I guess you're having an easy time dealing with it. If i may ask, don't you love her anymore? I guess you still do.
I started loving her coz both of you guys are honest and true. And i kinda missed her coming to our house. And i was saddened when i found out you split up.
Then i followed. Hmmmm.
I want to be far from here now. FOr the meantime. Coz everything is killing me. I just don't know what to do.
Hmmm, the other night i stood there at MOA's by the bay. And i just wanted to stay there, if only it wasn't raining. I could have sat there and cried, shouted everything into the darkness and stillness of the waters while it rained. Coz the pain is too much to bear, Mike. And everytime i find myself staring at something. I guess i am nearly going mad, am I? Well you can't definitely tell.
You know how Tito Mencio and Tito Manny bugs me about gaining experience and to take the exams so i could go there now. And sometimes when i think of it, they're right. My dream before was to settle down there with you, Raf, mom and Dad. It changed. Hmmm. I just wanted to settle here. But I wanted to take away mom's burden and i know se wants me to be there. I know she's too stressed thinking about everything she's not supposed to be thinking of.
Plus, at times you are annoying and your spoiled side tends to come out at times oftentimes. Hmmm. Anyway. I have to end this now. I wanted to tell you a lot of things. You are my brother anyway, i should be doing that. You deserve all the details of my life. And how i wish i could just tell you these.
Ciao.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
An apple a day, keeps other trademark away
3 apples of the world.
Steve Jobs. Who would ever forget him? one man behind a legacy that will for sure run through generations and will forever be one of the best trademarks of all time. I read this from Yahoo and i just wanted to repost it. Coz he is such a man of wisdom. I just look up to him. He managed to make something out of a completely tangled and looped bunch of wires (I am just figuratively speaking - that is if you understood what i meant). ^_^
Cheers to Steve Jobs. Real man for the job.
- the apple that Eve ate.
- the apple that fell into isaac newtons head.
- and the apple that Steve Jobs had created.
Steve Jobs. Who would ever forget him? one man behind a legacy that will for sure run through generations and will forever be one of the best trademarks of all time. I read this from Yahoo and i just wanted to repost it. Coz he is such a man of wisdom. I just look up to him. He managed to make something out of a completely tangled and looped bunch of wires (I am just figuratively speaking - that is if you understood what i meant). ^_^
Cheers to Steve Jobs. Real man for the job.
With Time Running Short, Jobs Managed His Farewells
, On Thursday October 6, 2011, 9:25 pm EDT
Over the last few months, a steady stream of visitors to Palo Alto, Calif., called an old friend’s home number and asked if he was well enough to entertain visitors, perhaps for the last time.
In February, Steven P. Jobs had learned that, after years of fighting cancer, his time was becoming shorter. He quietly told a few acquaintances, and they, in turn, whispered to others. And so a pilgrimage began.
The calls trickled in at first. Just a few, then dozens, and in recent weeks, a nearly endless stream of people who wanted a few moments to say goodbye, according to people close to Mr. Jobs. Most were intercepted by his wife, Laurene. She would apologetically explain that he was too tired to receive many visitors. In his final weeks, he became so weak that it was hard for him to walk up the stairs of his own home anymore, she confided to one caller.
Some asked if they might try again tomorrow.
Sorry, she replied. He had only so much energy for farewells. The man who valued his privacy almost as much as his ability to leave his mark on the world had decided whom he most needed to see before he left.
Mr. Jobs spent his final weeks — as he had spent most of his life — in tight control of his choices. He invited a close friend, the physician Dean Ornish, a preventive health advocate, to join him for sushi at one of his favorite restaurants, Jin Sho in Palo Alto. He said goodbye to longtime colleagues including the venture capitalist John Doerr, the Apple board member Bill Campbell and the Disney chief executive Robert A. Iger. He offered Apple’s executives advice on unveiling the iPhone 4S, which occurred on Tuesday. He spoke to his biographer, Walter Isaacson. He started a new drug regime, and told some friends that there was reason for hope.
But, mostly, he spent time with his wife and children — who will now oversee a fortune of at least $6.5 billion, and, in addition to their grief, take on responsibility for tending to the legacy of someone who was as much a symbol as a man.
“Steve made choices,” Dr. Ornish said. “I once asked him if he was glad that he had kids, and he said, ‘It’s 10,000 times better than anything I’ve ever done.’ ”
“But for Steve, it was all about living life on his own terms and not wasting a moment with things he didn’t think were important. He was aware that his time on earth was limited. He wanted control of what he did with the choices that were left.”
In his final months, Mr. Jobs’s home — a large and comfortable but relatively modest brick house in a residential neighborhood — was surrounded by security guards. His driveway’s gate was flanked by two black S.U.V.’s.
On Thursday, as online eulogies multiplied and the walls of Apple stores in Taiwan, New York, Shanghai and Frankfurt were papered with hand-drawn cards, the S.U.V.’s were removed and the sidewalk at his home became a garland of bouquets, candles and a pile of apples, each with one bite carefully removed.
“Everyone always wanted a piece of Steve,” said one acquaintance who, in Mr. Jobs’s final weeks, was rebuffed when he sought an opportunity to say goodbye. “He created all these layers to protect himself from the fan boys and other peoples’ expectations and the distractions that have destroyed so many other companies.
“But once you’re gone, you belong to the world.”
Mr. Jobs’s biographer, Mr. Isaacson, whose book will be published in two weeks, asked him why so private a man had consented to the questions of someone writing a book. “I wanted my kids to know me,” Mr. Jobs replied, Mr. Isaacson wrote Thursday in an essay on Time.com. “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did.”
Because of that privacy, little is known yet of what Mr. Jobs’s heirs will do with his wealth. Unlike many prominent business people, he has never disclosed plans to give large amounts to charity. His shares in Disney, which Mr. Jobs acquired when the entertainment company purchased his animated film company, Pixar, are worth about $4.4 billion. That is double the $2.1 billion value of his shares in Apple, perhaps surprising given that he is best known for the computer company he founded.
Mr. Jobs’s emphasis on secrecy, say acquaintances, led him to shy away from large public donations. At one point, Mr. Jobs was asked by the Microsoft founder Bill Gates to give a majority of his wealth to philanthropy alongside a number of prominent executives like Mr. Gates and Warren E. Buffett. But Mr. Jobs declined, according to a person with direct knowledge of Mr. Jobs’s decision.
Now that Mr. Jobs is gone, many people expect that attention will focus on his wife, Laurene Powell Jobs, who has largely avoided the spotlight, but is expected to oversee Mr. Jobs’s fortune. A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and the Stanford Graduate School of Business, Mrs. Powell Jobs worked in investment banking before founding a natural foods company. She then founded College Track, a program that pairs disadvantaged students with mentors who help them earn college degrees. That has led to some speculation in the philanthropic community that any large charitable contributions might go to education, though no one outside Mr. Jobs’s inner circle is thought to know of the plans.
Mr. Jobs himself never got a college degree. Despite leaving Reed College after six months, he was asked to give the 2005 commencement speech at Stanford.
In that address, delivered after Mr. Jobs was told he had cancer but before it was clear that it would ultimately claim his life, Mr. Jobs told his audience that “death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent.”
The benefit of death, he said, is you know not to waste life living someone else’s choices.
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
In his final months, Mr. Jobs became even more dedicated to such sentiments. “Steve’s concerns these last few weeks were for people who depended on him: the people who worked for him at Apple and his four children and his wife,” said Mona Simpson, Mr. Jobs’s sister. “His tone was tenderly apologetic at the end. He felt terrible that he would have to leave us.”
As news of the seriousness of his illness became more widely known, Mr. Jobs was asked to attend farewell dinners and to accept various awards.
He turned down the offers. On the days that he was well enough to go to Apple’s offices, all he wanted afterward was to return home and have dinner with his family. When one acquaintance became too insistent on trying to send a gift to thank Mr. Jobs for his friendship, he was asked to stop calling. Mr. Jobs had other things to do before time ran out.
“He was very human,” Dr. Ornish said. “He was so much more of a real person than most people know. That’s what made him so great.”
Reporting was contributed by Julie Bosman, Quentin Hardy, Claire Cain Miller and Evelyn M. Rusli.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Day 8: The Colour Changing Quill
Hello there.
Three months. No. Just almost three months. I haven't seen a glimpse of you for that long span of time. Not even your shadow. That's for the longest time. And probably it would not be the longest. But I hope it would be.
Last October 2, 2011 - i finally saw you again. And it seemed like yesterday since i last did. Nothing changed. Except for the fact that you already grew beard. Which definitely looked good on you. You looked great. Just like that last day i threw one last look at you in Ilocos (minus the beard). =P
I miss you.
I missed you.
I missed hearing your voice. I miss hearing you talk and laugh and seeing you smile. I totally missed staring at that face i used to hold.
And i was not definitely ready to see you but i just wanted to. And it was bearable. Glad i had controlled the urge to flung my arms around you again. I totally wanted to do that. But it was not proper... *smile* i do know what's proper.. =P
i could not believe i was there. My stupid mind could not believe i was sitting inside your house with your sisters. I know it wasn't right. I should have not done that. Apart from the reason that i wanted to give my gift to Gav that day coz it was his birthday, it was mostly you who i really wanted to see.
I stood outside your house that night and lucky me - it was you whom i first saw. The reason why i hid behind the car coz i was surprised. Of course whom should i see right, that's where you live, but hey of all people. =) You came out of the house because Dada told you or you might have seen him standing outside your doorstep. I had to step out too coz i already saw you waving saying Hi.
You even offered to shake my hand and i was like "what's with the handshake thingy?" at the back of my head.
I don't know how to define that night anymore. My photographic memory somehow recorded everything again but won't let me spill all the details here. Maybe it was enough for me keep it.
First time in my life that i managed to stand in front of your relatives and not thinking of what they're gonna say. I even managed to joke around Ate Maya. And i definitely love her just like Gav. She's cool. She isn't as bad as my first instinct have told me before. She's too nice. She's just one cool sister i would have wanted to have since i wanted a sister so much.
Yes, it was really awkward.. was it? Hmmm, not really. Or it could have been i was just way overwhelmed.
Hmmmm. This is the nth time i am gonna say i miss you. And i don't know.
We bid goodbye. And i tried to look back. I pretended to look at something from behind. My peripheral vision didn't fail me. I saw you standing there at your doorstep watching us leave just like how one should be to be properly hospitable to their visitors. Hmmmm. That's the last picture i have in my mind.
It was always me who leaves in the scene. ha-ha.
was always me who does. Hmmm.
You already know what's in my mind.
Always.
PS: message to self...Close your eyes Nat and dream of the sweetest possible thing you could ever dream about. *hugs self* your alter ego loves you so much...
Three months. No. Just almost three months. I haven't seen a glimpse of you for that long span of time. Not even your shadow. That's for the longest time. And probably it would not be the longest. But I hope it would be.
Last October 2, 2011 - i finally saw you again. And it seemed like yesterday since i last did. Nothing changed. Except for the fact that you already grew beard. Which definitely looked good on you. You looked great. Just like that last day i threw one last look at you in Ilocos (minus the beard). =P
I miss you.
I missed you.
I missed hearing your voice. I miss hearing you talk and laugh and seeing you smile. I totally missed staring at that face i used to hold.
And i was not definitely ready to see you but i just wanted to. And it was bearable. Glad i had controlled the urge to flung my arms around you again. I totally wanted to do that. But it was not proper... *smile* i do know what's proper.. =P
i could not believe i was there. My stupid mind could not believe i was sitting inside your house with your sisters. I know it wasn't right. I should have not done that. Apart from the reason that i wanted to give my gift to Gav that day coz it was his birthday, it was mostly you who i really wanted to see.
I stood outside your house that night and lucky me - it was you whom i first saw. The reason why i hid behind the car coz i was surprised. Of course whom should i see right, that's where you live, but hey of all people. =) You came out of the house because Dada told you or you might have seen him standing outside your doorstep. I had to step out too coz i already saw you waving saying Hi.
You even offered to shake my hand and i was like "what's with the handshake thingy?" at the back of my head.
I don't know how to define that night anymore. My photographic memory somehow recorded everything again but won't let me spill all the details here. Maybe it was enough for me keep it.
First time in my life that i managed to stand in front of your relatives and not thinking of what they're gonna say. I even managed to joke around Ate Maya. And i definitely love her just like Gav. She's cool. She isn't as bad as my first instinct have told me before. She's too nice. She's just one cool sister i would have wanted to have since i wanted a sister so much.
Yes, it was really awkward.. was it? Hmmm, not really. Or it could have been i was just way overwhelmed.
Hmmmm. This is the nth time i am gonna say i miss you. And i don't know.
We bid goodbye. And i tried to look back. I pretended to look at something from behind. My peripheral vision didn't fail me. I saw you standing there at your doorstep watching us leave just like how one should be to be properly hospitable to their visitors. Hmmmm. That's the last picture i have in my mind.
It was always me who leaves in the scene. ha-ha.
was always me who does. Hmmm.
You already know what's in my mind.
Always.
PS: message to self...Close your eyes Nat and dream of the sweetest possible thing you could ever dream about. *hugs self* your alter ego loves you so much...
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