Cupids please strike my heart

It’s the day of St. Valentine and people all over the globe is celebrating this special day with their special someone on dinner dates, strolls and many more. Ooops I think we got it wrong, not all is celebrating this day. In Brazil, they honor Valentine’s Day on the 12^th of June. Because as far as my reading goes, it’s the day before Saint Anthony’s day who happened to be the marriage Saint. So single women there do a lot of rituals to be able to find a good boyfriend or husband. But in the Philippines, along with most of the countries, we celebrate Hearts day each year every 14^th of February.

Now each of us can make this day or any other day special though, you don’t have to wait for it to come to show the people you love that they are dear to you and to feel that LOVE IS IN THE AIR. Every day is supposed to be filled with love. Every day, we are supposed to make ourselves and other people feel special.

Every year for how long I could no longer remember, Dad secretly asks me to buy flowers for Mom. It’s one of those extraordinary moments in our lives every year that I find really sweet and touching. That even though they are being separated by distance every Valentine’s Day, still he never fails to show how much he loves her. Once I could remember leaving those bouquet of roses on their bed that when mom found it out, she was so surprised and was wondering how it got there. I told her, he sent it, but with a grin on my face and a giggle. And so because I am not good at lying she knew the real story behind it.

I once did the same thing, when I left a Valentines card on top of the bed addressed to her on an early morning of February 14, 2005. I dashed off the room immediately and outside the house when I heard the school service beeping, for I didn’t want to ruin the moment of her discovering me at the scene of the crime hiding something. And that card is now stuck under the glass at the living room table.

Last year I did my best to buy her some roses even though it was rush hour and I knew that flowers by that time wouldn’t be as fresh and blooming as they were supposed to be in the morning. But, it didn’t matter as long as I got her one and made an effort. Funny thing when I arrived home, they were even arguing with me about those flowers. She was saying they’re meant for me and that someone gave it to me and I was just afraid to admit it. How thoughtful of me to be buying myself a bouquet of flowers and giving it to myself. Ha! I don’t think I am Mr. Bean.

Nevertheless, though they were channeled thru me, it came from the bottom of his heart and I knew that somehow Dad’s wishing that he’s the one handing them to her. I really appreciate cupid who impeccably struck my Mom and Dad’s heart, for without them, I wouldn’t be here right now, blabbing and borrowiqg some of your uime. You’re puobably the mostuadorable of all.

I am so thankful to God that they have found each other and that they were able to witness life’s bliss and sorrows together. And I know that what they have is bound to stay.

"Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we're gone."

_ Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love you

Cupid out there, please strike mq dear world again.

…I’ll be waiting. ♥♥♥

Have a Happy hearts Day everyone.

Life is filled with love. We are to discover and nurture it so it can grow and we could share much more.   

       

Love life. Share the love.

♥

enjoy Sarah Bareilles music today.

Feel the love.

Be back soon

Pardon for the lateness due to the lack of connection but i just had to post this.

♥♥♥

I felt the need to pour thoughts out of my system which is why at this very moment of about 4:10 AM my time of February 6, 2012 I am trying my best to write.

It’s one of those moments again. It’s pretty unusual for me to feel like this after quite a while. I think this has something to do with some chemical and hormone imbalances

I’ve been doing well, really. YES.

And now I seriously do not know what I exactly feel - prolly inhibiting the thoughts of unhappiness to fill this place again. Maybe you have noticed that I haven’t posted much here because I don’t know what to post about. And I have learned a long time ago that I could hardly write something moving unless I am drowned in tears. I have found that tiny ray of happiness within me and I have been working on it ever since. Yet, somehow I truly admit… I couldn’t really write feeling just the usual coz I don’t have the drive to do so. And writers need that kind of thing to come out with great literary pieces. Either I should be extremely happy or better yet sad.

by Punk-Goth-Girl from Deviantart

This place is my refuge. My confidant. And I miss my self writing not just some random outbursts I wanted to shout out loud.

I hope you are hearing me.

Be back soon.

~Antonette

Baguio is Love ♥

So i am back to tell you the story of how i left a part of my heart in the summer capital of the Philippines, Baguio city. I know this one is really a month late but I still want to share it. Well, I’d like to say a word before I continue; this is an entry from a kid at heart who was so excited to meet the clouds again. I did my math and if I got it right, it's been 11 years since the last time i step foot on that place. Therefore I am a newbie and a complete ignorant of Baguio city though it wasn't that hard to adapt. However, a decade may have passed but there's the same fact that didn't change, Baguio is still one of the best places I have on my list and have set eyes on.

Let us drive back to the winding and zigzag road 11 years ago. I was in my 3rd grade, Michael was on fourth and Ralphqnwas only a yeau old. Dad droveqour then old Foud up the mountains. We went up there to accompany mom attend a seminar of chemical engineers. We dropped off Uncle Manny and Aunt Amelia at their house at San Fernando, La Union. It was always a fun ride up the Miracle Bible Compound because when you reach their place, you can have a good view of a part of the city. Enough of my nice to know talks - haha. As far as i could remember, i woke up that early rainy morning inside our car which was parked along Burnham Park. It was a freezing morning. And me and mike were already wearing our Baguio weaved jumpers which made our feelings a little better but was still not enough for the climate. (I would just like to share the odd feeling of having the same things my brother has though we weren't even twins but mom and dad made us feel like that). Papa went out to look for a tour guide because Mom was already running late and no one of us knew where to go. After a short drive, we reached the hotel where the event was to happen. I guess it’s named Raja Inn but I am not sure of that anymore. What we just did there was to wait until the convention ended. T’was a pretty boring time, we didn’t even stroll around because of the rain. Me and my brother would go up the place and back to our car to kill the time. Then we went home.

Now let’s steer the wheels back to January 14, 2012. I traveled to Baguio with my brother, Mike. The ride took us almost 8 hours and we were hoping to be there by 7PM however it ended up 10PM. It was tiring though I slept almost the entire trip. I wanted to be awake by the time we were going up, and I was, however I couldn’t see anything else outside except darkness. Disappointing, indeed. However as we drew nearer to the heart of the city, smile painted my face when I saw lights at the distance below us. The lights from the houses of Baguio city appeared to be stars in the distance. How charming. It was like you have already passed the skies that you are viewing them from above.

Soon enough the cold and pine smelling breeze of the place started to creep all over my system. It was really freakin’ freezing outside. I wanted to cuddle under my blankets and in front of a fireplace to keep me warm. Since it’s already late in the evening, though prolly night life has just started the only thing left for us to do is to visit the night market which a lot of people never fails to do so. It’s filled with retailers of clothes, shoes and many more stuffs at a really cheap price. If you have a knack for spotting great things out of this pile of stuffs then you can find your match and you might even surprise yourself carrying a handful of those plastic shopping bags if you can’t have a good grip of yourself. It was just a matter of mixing and matching things so you can have all the goodies you want.

Guess we did survive with fast food and take away foods for our stay there.

The next morning though we slept really late for the night, we had to drag our lousy selves to the shower room. People we’re boiling water and everything just so they could make sure they’re not going to freshen up with freezing water.

I stared up at the sky and it felt so near, that any minute now you'd be able to touch it.

Our first stop for the day, “Any idea on where to go? Maybe we should get a tour guide.” That was the best plan they had. It saved us the effort of getting lost and asking for directions. The tour guide we got was actually offering transient houses by the Burnham Park and he agreed to a price of 600 pesos. I think we got a great deal for it was really cheap.

After some ups and downs on curves we reached the Grotto. Together we counted the steps but lost track of it since every now and then we would take pictures or do something else. But it was fun; some say it’s 300 plus steps. I’ll go back there one day and finish counting it myself.

We dropped by the Chinese Temple near the border of La Trinidad for a few minutes then headed to the Botanical garden. We started buying souvenirs there that we forgot to appreciate what’s inside it. Jaiden even got tired that he was already sleeping; we had to take turns in carrying him.

After that, we were all starving; we headed to Mines View Park, where we ate at one of the eatery there. Mines View was filled with different sorts of people, you could barely enjoy the scenery for some of them don’t even want to budge. You would have to squeeze yourself so you could find a good spot. Me, Mike, Ate Badette and Nica just wore the traditional clothing of Baguio and took unlimited photos. One thing we couldn’t resist was to shop, and so we all bought different sort of things. I wish I was able to buy one of the jumpers like what Mike had bought for its really affordable and I was surprised when he told me how much he got it. Sigh. We left the place and went to Wright Park.

It’s horseback riding time.

At first I was really afraid, the horse might go berserk and run away. I just don’t want to end up clinging unto my dear life with a piece of rope. However, it was not bad at all. It was even great and we all enjoyed it. I even managed to go Solo though I wished I had the courage to control the horse a little bit faster. We had a little chat with the caretakers and our horses have their own names. Mine was named Viper; Tristan’s horse is Graham; Bruno for Nica and if I got it right Tanduay for Ate Dette (LOL I dunno). For 30 minutes we were going there in circles we even got bored.

After that we just passed by The Mansion and headed to SM baguio for some rest. Then we went home. And as night fell, we again visited the night market where I bought some shoes and sandals. However I noticed that the breeze wasn’t as cold as the other night. The next day we were all tired, we still woke up early yet the weather wasn’t at its best for another stroll. It was drizzling, not the greatest time to tour Baguio. Plus,.. we packed our things for we were going home after lunch. So me, Nica and Ate Bing decided to just go out to buy some “pasalubong”. Then we all met at SM Baguio where we ate our lunch. We dropped by the Baguio Cathedral and thanked God how wonderful the trip wass. Then, we dropped mike at the Bus terminal going to Ilocos and left for Pangasinan. On our way home, we met the clouds. I loved that scene. I have been looking forward to that all along and we bumped unto them. It was foggy on our way down that Dad had to go really slow and had to keep the signal lights on for other cars to notice. And off the winding and zigzag road went, till we meet again. So there goes our short vacation at the Summer Capital of the Philippines.

It was really a short one but we felt like we’ve been there for ages. We had so much fun and we enjoyed our time together. There’s really no place like home when you’re with family. I just hoped mom and Raffy were there too.

dwindling...dwindling... gone.

Found this on my pile of documents..

♥♥♥

When my Aunt from Singapore arrived we stayed at a hotel beside Robinsons Malate in Ermita, Manila. It was just cool. Teeheehee coz we didn't have to go far for food and stuffs.

That night i stood there by the room's balcony with my Aunt, watching the city, the bay as the almost starless sky stared back.

Tears fell from my tired eyes as I tore them from the cargo vessels leaving the bay. That moment I admitted to myself how badly hurt i was. I brushed my face though I tried to hide it from the person who was just beside me. I bid goodbye to everything. And so far that goodbye i casted in silence as the eerie stillness of the night filled the world, was one i planned to keep.

When i finally went back to my apartment, I and Loren had those usual talks we used to have before. Like the old times when I still had work and I’d go home by 1 in the morning then we would cook some noodles for food as we share thoughts. We haven't seen each other for almost a month so i wanted to update her with information and stories about my life for the span of time that i was home. It was a heart to heart talk where she somehow slapped me with the facts of reality. And I love her for doing that.

I shared to her the story of the two most awkward nights of my life where I got silently torn and crushed. Those two nights where I laughed at things I didn’t really find funny. Those two nights I wanted to run away and hide. Those two nights I went home with my eyes welling up with tears and I again found it hard to breathe. Loren actually knew i was close to crying by that time I was already stuttering. Those scenes I have told her really broke my heart for the nth time I could remember. And as I saw her brush her eyes, the tears I had been holding back found their way.

Then I said something, and she told me, she had been meaning to tell me those words all along. That I had been so foolish. It has to stop for it’s obviously too much.

And it sank.

So from then on, it faded.

Sometimes we don’t really want them to fade, yet we have to let it happen. And there are those times when we want those faded things, to be back to how they used to… but we just really have to be firm and along the way we’ll learn to appreciate what’s already there.  

Pose for the camera

It’s not typical that I would go out with one of the closest friend and buddy I have, Sheila. We rarely do so. I could remember the last time we went out then was on an early January of 2011 after our 7AM-3PM duty at the Batac Hospital. We craved for some “isaw” (a Filipino delicacy – chicken or pork intestines) so we went to grab some at Batac City Riverside. During those times we get to share some thoughts and points of view.

I am actually glad that ten months after College and we were able to maintain the friendship that we have. We were assigned to be buddies during a Bangui community duty. What do we do? Simple enough - we keep track of each other. If ever one gets lost out there in the woods or mountains, it’s the other person’s fault. However, I doubt only one would disappear from view; if ever there would, it would be two. Point is, at least they would have each other. =P

But seriously, I am thankful I have her as my friend.

And so on the middle of the third week of this year’s January, this buddy of mine texted me and asked me if I’d be available on the 28^th (that’s Saturday).  I said, yes and now offering me to go out with her for a photo session at Robinsons Mall, Ilocos Norte. I was really hesitant to go that she bugged me til evening came until I said another yes. Ha-ha. It’s for the sake of friendship, I said to myself. Yet I guess I was wrong, it seemed like I enjoyed the date I had with my buddy.

T’was my first time to do a shoot although I have always watched America’s next top model. Honestly, I loved taking pictures of everything; that sometimes, qiles on my laptup and in our couputer do not rually make sense anymore. Aside from staying behind the lens, I also have the inner crave to pose in front of the camera and depict those I see in fashion magazines.  I am in love with fashion however not as obvious as it could be for I was not used that way. I was used to wearing jeans, shirts, flats and sneakers that when people see me around wearing something that is not my usual look, it would make them wonder. I am trying to get over the thought though, for I still have that stigma that people would think differently at times. But sometimes when I have time and money I indulge myself with the luxury of buying dresses I don’t even wear.  Lucky enough that I can get hold of myself from purchasing shoes.

Before the photoshoot, we decided to take our lunch (since its 12 and we were starving, we skipped breakfast) so we wouldn’t get hungry anymore however I didn’t know what happened to our appetites after the shoot that we managed to squish in to our stomachs at 2:30PM, 4 slices of pizza each (sizes were reasonable).

And as what I have said that I enjoyed the day, I am to share the photos. These are courtesy of the great Ferina Albano. Having her as a photographer’s one of the reasons why I was encouraged to try it. And because it was my first time, I really have no idea on what to do but thanks to her, she demonstrated some of the poses I had to do. I don’t know about my buddy, because when she was photographing her, they were still fixing my makeup and hair (I’ll just thank Poppy and Co for everything coz without them organizing the event this wouldn’t have been possible).

taken by my buddy

these are the proper photos (by Miss Ferina Albano)

I find the hairstyle really classy. I loved it, now I know how they do that. LOL.

of course we didn't want to miss the opportunity to take our own..

and the last photo *points down* was a photo montage i made of the photos my buddy took while we were waiting for our pizza.

a repost: Stars and Moon December 2008

I was browsing my old blog. Ehmdharc.i.ph. I found this article i wrote on December 2, 2008 about the smiling face up the heavens on a Sunday night (December 1, 2008) here in the Philippines. We were still in our second year college then.

I have read somewhere over the web that something like that shall happen again this year, 2012. It would be on March 14, 2012 that there will be another smiling face above however not as closer as itqhad been in 200u. But i will stund by to witnesu such thing again.

 photos are courtesy of their rightful owners.

========O========

We’ve been so euphoric last night.

I still couldn’t believe that we just missed to capture the beauty of the phenomenon last night. Well, we didn’t have any idea that those two misty looking eyes of the moon were the planets Jupiter and Venus.

Who would have thought of that? The sight of the phenomenon on the endless horizon was just so perfect; I have never seen anything like that in my entire life. And we just thought about it as a coincidence that it perfectly resembled a smiling face.

 photos are courtesy of their rightful owners.

Colleen said that was probably one reason why we were so happy at that moment and i agreed with no particular reason at all. I couldn’t stop thinking about how we had noticed the intriguing positions of the stars and the moon and we even said “smiley” in chorus. To tell you we were all eight and we were so happy taking pictures outside Kenneth’s dormitory. We even said “let’s take a picture of that, let’s go on top of the dormitory and climb the steel bars.”

But unfortunately, there was something that had kept me from capturing the scenery. I had aimed to take a photograph of the view but then I would always stop and I would keep my camera away again. I would take another snap of the group and then aim at it for another shot but then every time I would try that, my attention would be distracted once more.

Back at Literature class a while ago, as our instructor had shared to us the phenomenon last night, we were all so ecstatic. We’ve seen it but then we’ve got no proof.

WE HAVE EACH OTHER AS A LIVING PROOF THAT WE HAD WITNESSED SUCH SPECIAL NIGHT TOGETHER.

As I’ve shared on my entry last night that I was so happy, yes, that was true. We were all so cheerful and that I could not even explain how happy I was. Immeasurable smiles had filled our stressed spirits. That was quite fun, for the past few days we had been staying up till dawn to finish paper works.

And last night, as we enjoyed the ambiance of the evening, aside from God who is watching over us, there’s one smiley face up at the firmament which made us feel like this group will be together and that they will stay friends forever.

A rare event, when will we see such thing again?

THE MEMORY WILL BE TREASURED; I WILL KEEP AS A PART OF ME FOREVER THE PEOPLE WHO WERE WITH ME UNDERNEATH THAT SMILING FACE LAST NIGHT.

~antonette~