dwindling...dwindling... gone.

Found this on my pile of documents..

♥♥♥

When my Aunt from Singapore arrived we stayed at a hotel beside Robinsons Malate in Ermita, Manila. It was just cool. Teeheehee coz we didn't have to go far for food and stuffs.

That night i stood there by the room's balcony with my Aunt, watching the city, the bay as the almost starless sky stared back.

Tears fell from my tired eyes as I tore them from the cargo vessels leaving the bay. That moment I admitted to myself how badly hurt i was. I brushed my face though I tried to hide it from the person who was just beside me. I bid goodbye to everything. And so far that goodbye i casted in silence as the eerie stillness of the night filled the world, was one i planned to keep.

When i finally went back to my apartment, I and Loren had those usual talks we used to have before. Like the old times when I still had work and I’d go home by 1 in the morning then we would cook some noodles for food as we share thoughts. We haven't seen each other for almost a month so i wanted to update her with information and stories about my life for the span of time that i was home. It was a heart to heart talk where she somehow slapped me with the facts of reality. And I love her for doing that.

I shared to her the story of the two most awkward nights of my life where I got silently torn and crushed. Those two nights where I laughed at things I didn’t really find funny. Those two nights I wanted to run away and hide. Those two nights I went home with my eyes welling up with tears and I again found it hard to breathe. Loren actually knew i was close to crying by that time I was already stuttering. Those scenes I have told her really broke my heart for the nth time I could remember. And as I saw her brush her eyes, the tears I had been holding back found their way.

Then I said something, and she told me, she had been meaning to tell me those words all along. That I had been so foolish. It has to stop for it’s obviously too much.

And it sank.

So from then on, it faded.

Sometimes we don’t really want them to fade, yet we have to let it happen. And there are those times when we want those faded things, to be back to how they used to… but we just really have to be firm and along the way we’ll learn to appreciate what’s already there.