trapped in an abyss

~wrote this last night.. i mean this morning at 1:00 AM

I just arrived home from a 9 hour travel.

I am still wonderin' myself what happened there that i wanted to be home this much.

i wouldn't be home yet probably.

Maybe i just should be thankful.

Now i sat here on my bed, leaning on my wall. I wiped the tears brushing my cheeks as i typed another word for this one.

It's July 10, 2011. I'll close my eyes and try to remember where Am I way back July 10, 2010.

I saw her a year younger. She's on the same bed. She gladly clutched her phone and was waiting for someone elses message.

As i look upon her face, the feelings she have inside radiates. She was indeed so inlove. So inlove with the man she have always loved.

And as i stare unto her NOW, i can see her heart, broken.

This wasn't the first. And not probably the second.

I wondered why?

I blinked and maybe answers flashed into the darkness.

I continued to stare at her.

I asked myself cause i didn't want her to hear,"Maybe you have gone too far, don't you think?

I wanted to ask her but i could already read her mind. Maybe she had just let me read them.

"I miss him. The way he used to be. And i'm still asking myself did i change him to be that way? What happened to the guy i fell inlove with almost 4 years ago?"

I wanted to give her a hug.

I can feel how broken she was.

"People change. Planned plans change. All i wanted was someone i can trust and who can trust me back. i just didn't want something that would last for a while. But i wanted it to last for forever."

"I wanted someone who can be the best friend i need. I just didn't want to settle on the now, coz the NOW is just tomorrow's yesterday and one way or another, i'd be the yesterday."

In the middle of the darkness and silence of the night, i could see her heart screaming.

Poor soul.

trapped in the abyss of loneliness.