Day 10: The Colour Changing Quill

I can still hear him in my head at times when I am alone, when I am doing nothing, when I am staring unto the nothingness. It gives me the odd feeling that I am mad and it leaves me blank. Then I shake it out of my head and tell myself, I’m better now and I paint that smile into my face. But I could not just deny the fact that even though it wasn’t very much long ago, it still haunts me like a ghost from the past that was brought back to life. The feeling visits me like an old friend who hasn’t seen me in a while and it would linger for a little period of time. It might have missed seeing those tears fall.

The feeling of sorrow and resentment once in a while creep in my head and I’ll feel a little bit hurt again. It’s the most predictable baggage I’ve got and I really have to let go of it now. I know a part of me hasn’t totally freed the thought of it and is still grasping a tiny portion of the rope connecting me to things. But I just want to tell you I’m doing good, all set to free that part. I am just waiting for the perfect time.

I admit that most of the time now, I feel like It was all part of my writings. That everything was merely a creation of my vivid imagination, it got publicized and is now obsolete just like the fan fictions I create. Maybe this is a defense mechanism used by my ego to protect myself from feeling the same way as before but whatever it is, it’s helping. 

I know one day, I’ll look back to those days and really see it as a chapter written to fill the gaps of my boring life and it was there to help develop my character.

Happy to say that i mean all the smiles i have now.. =)
Just wanted to share some photos while i was goofin' around with my cousin, Ana.