Scribbles: Solitude

It has been two weeks since my last post. It’s not as if I update every day. I just use this blog as an outburst page when my head feels like screaming or I want to rant about something else or I don’t have something to do or someone to turn to. That is if I am not being my stubborn self.

Hmmm.

I couldn’t remember the last time I sat down and did nothing. Thought of nothing. And just enjoyed the luxury of being able to freely breathe. I have not done that for a long while. I indulged myself with a bottle of Nutella and just listened to covers.

Yet after a while, the Nutella seemed to have lost its charm that I again felt weary.

I’ve been really preoccupied lately. Of a lot of things. (I’m always preoccupied.)

And I am probably the laziest person on Earth right now. Sigh. Or I just feel really tired that I don’t even have the energy to drag myself off my bed. I could stay here all night and all day the next day. Just me and my stuffed toy, Sirius.

I just want to be alone. Not because I wanted to lock myself away from people but I just wanted to enjoy my solitude. That precious moment i can call my own. Where it’s just me and only me. Where I can be myself, I don’t need someone else’s approval and I don’t have to be someone else to anyone and to please them. Wanting to enjoy my own company doesn’t mean I’m lonely or depressed.

Once in a while, everybody needs it.

There are a million thoughts in my head wanting to be scribbled but every time I try to dig deeper, they hide that I can’t seem to compose the thoughts I want to convey.

I at least have encouraged myself to write some of it here and to tweak pictures again just to vent it out. 

Goodness!