plot and plot holes...

i have nothing against it.
But maybe i am just bitter.

You deleted your facebook. coz you wanted a new life. With me out of the picture and other people as well.
Then you created a new account. Added everyone else. I mean what's the point of adding me this time?
You've got all the friends you need. You had the common friends we used to have before.
You have not bothered adding me above anyone else.We no longer communicate. SO what's the whole point now?

Maybe i am reacting like this because i am keeping the littlest pride that was left with me when i begged for everything to stay. When i tried everything to keep the line connected but you didn't seem to like it.

I am assuming a lot of things. Thoughts of everything that shouldn't be in my mind are bugging me. That's the primary reason tonight why i couldn't sleep even though i want to. And these tears which shouldn't be here have visited me again.

As i opened my account when i arrived home, you were tagged in the friend request area.  I ignored you. I have to. I thought for a moment, am i supposed to confirm it? When the last time i viewed your account i cried.

I know you didn't really mean to add me. Maybe someone else had bugged you to do that. Maybe you made a deal. Maybe you'll gonna win if i click that button.Maybe you just wanted to please people. And if that's the case you should have not done it. You know how it would hurt me.

I promised myself when you made a new account i will never ever add you. Coz i don't want to mess with the life you have right now. I kinda messed with it before.

But then i am again going back to the question. Why did you add me?
and if only there's a chance that you'll hear the question, i probably already know the answer.
"Is there something wrong if i add you? Just because we parted ways doesn't mean i don't like you to be my friend."

Not exactly but i might have some facts there.
I'll always lose. I can never argue with you. Besides i don't want to. You're too good.

But you know how paranoid i am. You know how mind works. I am a writer and i am too dramatic. I still have these thoughts inside my brain.

Is it because you wanted to show me something else?
Is it because you wanted me to read your posts?
For the thing to sink in again?

You know what? You don't have to worry now. It already sank.
it's just that i still have it with me.
And there's no need for you to keep on repeating it to me so i'll better understand it. Coz that's like slapping me in the face. I apologize coz i am negativistic and paranoid and everything else you could imagine.

Truth is i am just afraid of what's in your account this time..that's why.

Hmmmmm. Anyways, I am used to it by now. It just stings some time.
Buti am still trying to live with it.

So yeah, maybe there nothing wrong in confirming you. I'll give myself a chance. And if i  can no longer take it i'd have to say it's enough.