You know the feeling when your heart bears this thing it can't release and all you want to do is to scream it out loud but you can't. So you're left with no other option but to cry. Coz that's the only way it could release the tension that wants to get out from your fist-sized heart.
Yet, even though you cry until you tire your eyes out the feeling will always be there.
Yet, even though you cry until you tire your eyes out the feeling will always be there.
I've had this hole in my heart for so long and then it started to heal. And i thought it would totally heal. Until one day it stopped healing. It froze. And every now and then it grows bigger again and bigger and bigger. Then I fiound out one day, the hole i have is already too big to be handled.
It had eaten the whole of me.
And many times i find myself staring at something for a long period of time. Or silently do my stuffs then they'll notice something is wrong coz i wasn't talking at all. Or i'll wander around the corridors alone and just keep on walking till i get back to work. Or i'll stare out the window and watch the cars pass by. I just want to be alone. Coz their company is no longer enough to cover up the pain. I don't find things funny now. I'll just laugh, pretend to, even though nothing's really funny.
Loren asked me this dawn when we had a conversation, "How can you look at his picture without feeling anything?" For the second time she had a question i found it hard to answer.
I do feel something when i stare at them. But i know it's not hatred. It's the feeling that make you cry. Maybe i grew numb of the pain. Or maybe i don't know. It just wouldn't stop.
I still miss him.
Mommy Tin: Siya na naman?
Nat: Siya pa rin naman eh. May iba ba?
And many times i find myself staring at something for a long period of time. Or silently do my stuffs then they'll notice something is wrong coz i wasn't talking at all. Or i'll wander around the corridors alone and just keep on walking till i get back to work. Or i'll stare out the window and watch the cars pass by. I just want to be alone. Coz their company is no longer enough to cover up the pain. I don't find things funny now. I'll just laugh, pretend to, even though nothing's really funny.
Loren asked me this dawn when we had a conversation, "How can you look at his picture without feeling anything?" For the second time she had a question i found it hard to answer.
I do feel something when i stare at them. But i know it's not hatred. It's the feeling that make you cry. Maybe i grew numb of the pain. Or maybe i don't know. It just wouldn't stop.
I still miss him.
Mommy Tin: Siya na naman?
Nat: Siya pa rin naman eh. May iba ba?
Will this one take me seven years to forget? Coz if it will, then this will always be the case. It will hurt then it will not then it will hurt again.
I miss how it feels to genuinely smile. With no pains. No hurts.
And if only all the pain would disappear when i sleep. I'll choose to keep on sleeping. Until it hurts no more.
"I'll miss you when i wake up," Alice said.
And the only time i'll stop missing you is the time i'll cease waking up..
I miss how it feels to genuinely smile. With no pains. No hurts.
And if only all the pain would disappear when i sleep. I'll choose to keep on sleeping. Until it hurts no more.
"I'll miss you when i wake up," Alice said.
And the only time i'll stop missing you is the time i'll cease waking up..
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